i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
