If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
where does the pee come out of this thing
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
