they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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