And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize