And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
