SEEEEXXX PLEASE
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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