shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
