there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
