Rock
Scissors
Fuck
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
