How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
