I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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