I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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