Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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