we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
