i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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