Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
the gays at disneyland are vicious
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
