I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
