i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize