why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
