sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize