Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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