Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
