Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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