dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
