You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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