I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
