i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
