she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize