When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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