I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
