We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
