I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
