There is no way he is gay with that hair.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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