You were right. It hurts to walk today.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
