I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
