We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize