do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
