38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It was confusing and full of hummus
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
