Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
