Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
