i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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