I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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