I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize