you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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