I seem to have left my pride at pride
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
