I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
