Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So many bounce houses so little time
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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