Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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