How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
