i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
