Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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