no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
