Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
