Kiss
Puke
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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