Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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