Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize