epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
3 2 1 whiskey
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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