i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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