I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
