oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
