yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
