Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize