Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
